Welcome back!
I hope this little tidbit is to your liking. Just a little weirdness.
Leave me some love!
Ren
You are in the operating room and are slowly being put under to have your gall bladder removed. Just as you are dosing off, you notice the doctor entering the room isn't the doctor scheduled to operate on you. When you awake, your gall bladder is still there, but something else about you has been changed. Write this scene.
*****
I lay flat on the hard slab, staring up at the white ceiling, nearly blinded by the bright lights. Who would have thought that I would have ended up here. That a case of gallstones would have landed me in the operating room in Sandusky General.
All courses of treatment exhausted, Dr. Martin had said. This is our best option, he had assured me.
Well, maybe it was for the best. Hell, who really needs their gallbladder anyway? What does it even do? Yeah, I was going to be just fine when I woke up.
A sneaker scuffing the tiled floor nearby broke me from my inner monologue and I turned my head in time to see a plastic mask being lowered over my mouth and nose.
"Now remember what we talked about," the nurse told me patiently. "Just breathe normally. Can you count backward from a hundred?"
"100," I began. I sounded muffled to myself. "99." I watched her check the tubes running from my arm to an IV drip that hung above my head. "98." She pushed a few buttons on the heart monitor. It was becoming more difficult to speak properly. My tongue seemed to weigh fifty pounds. "Niiiiiinety-sthevfen," I managed to slur out. I could feel the anesthesia kicking in. It wouldn't be long now.
"Is our patient ready?" a jovial voice boomed from across the room. I turned my head and when I saw the doctor, ready to go in green scrubs and a bandana, about to put his paper face mask on, the '96' caught in my throat.
"Wait!" I tried to shout, only to my ears it sounded more like a muffled "Wwawwaaaww."
And as my vision rapidly blurred, before I completely passed out, the words I had tried so hard to utter passed repeatedly through my mind: That's not my doctor.
*****
My mouth was dry. That was the most prominent sensation occupying my mind. On top of whatever other discomforts I knew I was about to start experiencing, I had a severe case of cotton mouth.
I struggled for a moment or two to open my eyes. Finally, they began to flutter, and from a flutter I was able to blink against the blinding lights. I squinted around at my surroundings. I was in a private hospital room. I could hear the sharp, steady beep of the heart monitor and was pleased to see the IV was already out of my arm. I glanced to my left and saw a pink plastic pitcher and a matching plastic cup set out on the bedside table. I reached for the cup but as I did my arm brushed something protruding from my chest.
That couldn't be right.
I pulled my arm back and looked down at myself. The bed sheet was pulled up to my armpits, but there was no mistaking the bulge where my chest was. Hesitantly, I reached up and gripped the edge of the sheet. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, an attempt to mentally prepare myself for what I might see.
An attempt, because nothing could have prepared me for what lay beneath when I yanked the cover back.
Breasts. Two large breasts were wrapped in medical gauze, sitting on my chest. They had to be D's, maybe even double D's. One word ran around my mind.
No.
This couldn't be! How had this happened! My gallbladder was supposed to come out! Was this a two for one special? Did they even take my gallbladder? What am I supposed to do with a pair of breasts?
The door to my room swung open and a nurse walked in carrying a tray with juice and jello and wearing a smile.
"Oh good, you're awake!" she noticed cheerfully. "How are you feeling, Mr. Murphy?"
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PS. This is my first story and post written entirely on my brand spanking new iPad 2! This Relationship is going to work out juuuuuuust fine, I do believe.
Until next time,
Ren
